Personal
DoB: July 16, 1953; born again Jan. 20, 1969

Military Service: Joint Chief of Staph

Family: 3 (lawful) children, 1 (lawful) wife, 103 heirs

Education
Wartime: Ohio State University

BS: University of Illinois

MS: University of Illinois

PhD: Columbia University

DMI: Snopes Online University

Professional Experience
Professional emailer (world ranking: 3) (1998-2016)

Professor of Mathematics (1973-1988),
California State University, Long Beach

Dean of Letters To the Editor and Sciences (1971-1973),
California State University, Long Beach

Dean of Conservative Arts and Sciences (1969-1972),
Bradley University, IL

Carnegie Postdoctoral Fellow (1967-1968),
Center for the Study of Study Centers, University of Michigan

Chair and Divan, Department of Mathematics (1964.8-1967.6),
Northern Michigan University, Lake Gitche Gumee, MI

Publications
How to Filter Out My Jokes (Mozilla, 2001)

The Origin of Topology and Other Species (Oxford Univ. Press, 1964)

Letters to the Editor: passim

Email: 6 terabytes